this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
