no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am available for nakedness
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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