god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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