i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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