to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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