ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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