the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
