But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
