Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
