There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You dont lie about slip and slides
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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