Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
