I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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