ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
