my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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