Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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