so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
