I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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