just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
