I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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