Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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