If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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