My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
