I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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