I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize