Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
