I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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