Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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