You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
