My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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