He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
