I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
