i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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