I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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