You're a womanizer and a bitch.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
