I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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