Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
