The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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