we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
