thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
