I just threw up on my dentist
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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