It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
