Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
