Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize