if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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