I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
