You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
