i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
