Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
