the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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