Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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