try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
