Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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