I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
