some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
