billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
