I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
