I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
