just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
