Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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