I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
