I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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