she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if only i could text you this smell
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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