you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
