i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
