through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize