I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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